Kids vs. Dogs in Restaurants

Over at Andrew Sullivan's blog, there's a mini-controversy going on about dogs in restaurants or cafes. Now a few shrewd readers have started comparing the behavior of dogs vs. that of kids in these establishments, often to amusing effect. Having worked in restaurants all my life, I can honestly say that I'd take dogs over kids any day. Now, let me preface by saying that most kids I encounter are cool and I enjoy dealing with them. But the ones who aren't are hell on earth - and there are a lot of them. Do you like the sound of a 747 taking off in your back yard? Then you'll love the little monsters who vent their little narcissistic screeches non-stop. Then there's the ones who run around, throw stuff, and perform songs or whatever at the top of their voices (not to mention the rude little twerps). Of course, most of this is the parents' fault. Either they think their little darlings are the greatest things in the universe (and you better agree or else), or they're just assholes, I can't decide. Recently, we had an incident with a little kid who screeched so loud I could hear it in the kitchen, ran around, and threw peanuts at a neighboring table. When they objected, the "mother" told them to mind their own business. It escalated from there, with her dumping water on the neighbor's head and trying to storm out without paying. Douchebag!

And don't get me started on kids in movie theaters...